Thursday, November 12, 2009


The wind is howling and the sky is dark which is quite a change from our usual bright blue skies. The weather is mimicking my body and soul today.

I knew that getting sick was inevitable. When four kids are coughing and hacking and sneezing and rubbing their noses with their grubby hands, there is pretty much no way to contain the spread of germs. And when those four kids still want (and need) hugs and kisses and cuddles and comforting, no good Mama is going to turn them away.

So yes. It was inevitable. And it's okay.

My soul, however, is feeling dark and cloudy today too. I can feel my heart howling, begging for attention. Crying for some reprieve from the muck that is overwhelming it lately.

And somehow, I continue to resist the One thing I know will calm the storm of my soul. Because teaching AJ about punctuation and capitalization is important. And making paper dolls for Megan is a priority. And practicing the books of the Bible with Drew is imperative. And playing patty-cake with Kay is just so much fun.

I glance at my Bible, knowing it holds the answers. Knowing that if I pick it up and open it's worn pages and eat it's bread, my soul will find rest.

And as my heart yearns for some rest from the tumult and wind, I walk to the kitchen and spread peanut butter and cut up bananas and open packages of goldfish crackers. I fold a load of laundry and call the kids to put their clothes away. I sweep the floor and pick up trash and my soul continues to howl.

When will I learn?

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