Wednesday, November 10, 2010

It's not about me.

The holidays are upon us again. Seems like they are rushing in so fast this year, and yet they can't get here fast enough either. Baby #5 will be arriving in just about two months, and I have so much to do before she gets here.

This is always kind of a rough time of year for our family. Ray hasn't ever been a big holiday person, and often gets depressed right about this time of year. And I always get really homesick and lonely. This year Ray is fighting the depression tooth and nail (and I really think he's going to win), but I'm struggling so much.

Mom and Dad aren't able to come for Christmas this year. It's okay. I really do understand, and I'm happy that Ray's mom and brother are able to come instead. But I'm lonely. And homesick. And I don't like change. So the fact that everything is going to be different this year is really causing me to have a hard time. Add pregnancy hormones in the mix, and it's not a pretty picture.

I'm working hard to remember that it will be wonderful no matter what. Maybe we'll have a new baby for Christmas! That would be fun. Or maybe I'll be enjoying my last few days of only four kids (only, ha!). Either way, we'll enjoy having family in town and we'll enjoy celebrating with them.

I need to keep perspective on what Thanksgiving and Christmas are really about. I need to choose gratitude. I need to remember the baby that was born so many years ago, who grew up to be my Savior. Those are the important things. Those are the things that matter. It doesn't matter if Jones #5 comes before or after Christmas. It doesn't matter if the decorations are perfect. It doesn't matter if we go to every single Christmas party, or if my truffles turn out perfectly. It doesn't matter whose mom is coming to visit. What matters is HIM. And doing it all for HIS glory. It's not about me. It's about HIM.

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