Saturday, January 30, 2010

Complete

I found these cute pillows the other day that say "you complete me". They are intended for a husband and wife, and while I think they are adorable and would love to have them on my bed, I can't bring myself to make them. Because it would be a lie.

Ray doesn't complete me. He doesn't come close. Even if he were to do everything right, I would still feel a void. I would still be incomplete. Parts of me would still be missing.

There is ONE who can complete me though. There is ONE who can fill that void. There is ONE who can make me whole, even when I feel like everything around me is crashing into pieces. Especially when I feel like everything around me is crashing into pieces.

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

I long to be complete.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Intertwined

First, the meeting. Then...

We became fast friends, allies, companions. It was an easy relationship, with no pressure. While everyone swirled around us searching-wooing-hoping, we were carefree. He was secure in his love for the one who lit up his eyes. And me? I was enjoying our friendship, which was the one thing in my life that made sense and was easy.

Life surged ahead bringing many changes in my life. Old habits were kicked, and new ones were formed. Old flames were extinguished, and new ones were fanned. My one constant during this time was him.

I savored every minute I was able to spend with him. Our time together was like a soothing balm to my soul. He spoke often of the one who held his heart, and he listened to me share of the one who had broken mine. Over sub sandwiches and watered down pink lemonade our hearts became intertwined. We became the best of friends.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Meeting

I didn't even notice him at first. He didn't stand out among the sea of unknown faces. And I certainly wasn't looking for him, for my heart belonged to one far away.

But then I heard his voice. I listened, captivated, as he told of the one he loved. His adoration of everything about her was evident in his words, in the sparkle of his eye, in the upturn of the corner of his mouth.

My mind reeled. Oh to have a man love me so much. Oh to have a man whose lips trembled at the very mention of my name. Oh to have a man who would go on and on about me to a room full of strangers. Oh to have a man like him.

I wasn't so naive as to think that the one who held my heart could ever love me like that. And as I laid in bed that night and thought about the eloquent stranger, my heart ached for what I believed could never be mine: unconditional love.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Books for MMX

I have decided to do more reading this year. I don't have a lot of time to devote to it, so my list is fairly short. But hopefully since I have kept the list short, it will be an attainable goal! These are all books that I own, but have not read yet (with the exception of two, which I just want to read again), so this will come at no cost to our family.

In no particular order:

The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage
The Art of Thank You (this is just a small book that I have read before, but it was several years ago, and it is definitely worth a second read)
Shepherding a Child's Heart (with handbook)
Instructing a Child's Heart
Teaching to Change Lives
Smart Women Keep it Simple
Staying Close
A Woman After God's Own Heart
Loving God with All Your Mind (read this in college, but don't remember it at all)