Thursday, February 17, 2011


I lay with my eyes closed listening to her little grunts.  My body is warm and comfortable under the blankets, and I can't help but hope that she falls back to sleep.  His foot reaches over and finds mine, and I settle in closer to him.  But it isn't long before her grunts become more urgent, and I know I'm going to need to fill up her little belly.

I sit in the dark and nurse.  She anxiously takes her fill, and I feel her body relaxing in my arms.  She is comfortable with me.  I am the only one who satisfies her hunger, I know how to cradle her when the tears flow, I know just the right voice to use to make her smile.  She trusts me completely to provide for her every need.  She depends on me without reservation.  I know her better than anyone else.

So should my relationship with my Creator be.  He satisfies my hunger.  He brings me comfort when my soul is troubled.  He makes me glad.  I can trust Him completely to provide for me and keep me safe.  I can depend on Him.  He knows me better than I know myself.

The shameful thing is that I often turn away from His provision.  I deny the comfort that He offers so freely.  I allow my soul to hunger and thirst, even as He extends to me the bread of life. 

Why?  Why do I deny Him and all He has to offer?

I'm stubborn.  I'm selfish.  I like to be in control.  I don't like change. 

But the fact is, I need Him.  I can't do this on my own.  I won't truly live until I die to self and let Him satisfy me. 

Father, I long to desire change.  Satisfy me with Your love.

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