Saturday, February 26, 2011

She is the woman....

There is a woman who taunts me.  I see her everywhere I go. 

She is the woman whose kids don't touch everything at Wal-mart.  Her kids follow her quietly and say "yes, ma'am" when she tells them to do something.  My kids pretend to shoot the other customers in the aisles, and I often have to tell them several times to do something before getting a response.

She is the woman with the clean floors.  She sweeps up crumbs after every meal, and she mops at least once a week.  Her kids never have dirty socks.  My kids socks are filthy and my floor is covered in yesterday's lunch.

She is the woman who takes meals to every new mother.  Her meals are always balanced and made from scratch.  She gives organic applesauce, and her cookies are baked to perfection.  I give bagged salad and bread from Wal-mart.  My cookies are slightly burnt.

She is the woman who smiles at everyone.  She has a kind word for even the most annoying person.  Everyone likes her, and she gets invited to every party.  She never sits alone.  I avoid the annoying person, and I often sit alone.

She is the woman who gets up an hour early to read her Bible and pray.  She is known as a "prayer warrior", and when she says she will pray for someone she actually does.  She keeps a detailed journal of how God has answered her prayers, and she talks to Him all throughout the day.  I get up early, but often get distracted by e-mail, facebook, or some other shiny thing.  When I do try to focus and pray, I fall asleep or the baby starts to cry.

She is the woman with beautiful highlights in her hair, and rings on her fingers.  Her clothes are always in style, and her jewelry never fails to compliment her outfit.  She has beautifully manicured fingernails, and she is never caught without her lipstick on.  I haven't had a haircut in more than a year, and I bite my fingernails.  I never know what clothes look nice, so I just buy whatever is on sale at the thrift store.

She is the woman who never yells at her kids.  She speaks softly and lovingly to them, and they respond in kind.  She rarely has to discipline them because she has done such a good job at raising them to be obedient.  I yell at my kids, and they respond in kind.  Some days I wonder if I was cut out for the role of "mom."

She is the woman whose husband looks forward to coming home each day.  She welcomes him with open arms and a smile on her face.  She has his favorite meal on the table, and she serves it without complaint.  My husband comes home to a stressed out wife who sometimes hasn't even started dinner yet. 

I will never be that woman.  I will try, and I will fail.  And I will try again, and I will fail again.

But...

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I am a child of God.

I am loved with an everlasting love.

I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

I cannot be separated from the love of God.

I am confident that the good work that God has begun in me will be perfected.

I can find grace and mercy in time of need.

I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

I am God's temple.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I am complete in Christ.

1 comment:

  1. And you are beautiful. I love you.

    (Oh, and that woman? I'm pretty sure she only exists in our guilty consciences.)

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